Honoring Twenty-Two Years of
Creating Gay Community

Co-directors Ken Page & Joe Fitzgerald

At a time when it still was not safe to come out of the closet, Rowe Camp

and Conference Center planned a Gay Men’s Retreat that passed the test of time. Now in its 22nd year, Rowe’s Labor Day Retreat is one of the country’s oldest and largest gay gatherings. The brain child of Doug Wilson and Don Paul Shannon, one of the first Labor Day co-directors, the program continues to be a celebration for men who are gay, bisexual, questioning, or transgendered.

Don Paul met Doug Wilson, Rowe’s Executive Director, in the early 80s during a three-year training with Jean Houston. Don Paul was in transition, leaving a seven-year marriage and fairly recently “out of the closet,” when he attended his first Rowe workshop with Molly Scott and Sarah Benson. He remembers feeling the relief of finding a place that was genuinely inclusive and open. He returned with his son Damien, who was seven, for the Thanksgiving for Singles weekend, and it didn’t matter that he was the only gay man there. There were a couple of lesbians who shared their stories, and Don Paul felt whole and “at home.”

Then he came for a weekend for gay and bi-sexual men, but it seemed very psychological and the presentation somewhat intellectual. He felt such a gathering could benefit from the input of the participants themselves. Yes, keep the sharing sessions, but offer opportunities for performance, creative expression, fun activities, and even ritual. Don Paul says, “I felt, at the time, that many of us that were gay felt wounded by the rejection we experienced from the various religious communities we were born into. I felt that we could grow a community that felt truly affirming and invent our own rituals. We needed (or maybe I needed) to heal ourselves on so many levels.” While he was thinking about this, he was also working as a theater coach for Rowe’s Junior High Camp, where he saw how beautifully the experience was structured. He remarked to Doug that it would be great to have something similar for gay men. Just an idea.

To be closer to his son in Woodstock, he became an English teacher and Theatrical Director at Storm King School. That fall he received a call from someone on the board at Rowe asking if he would be interested in pulling together a longer weekend experience for Gay Men and realizing some of the vision that he had shared with Doug Wilson that previous summer. Well, of course he was interested. The board member suggested that he consider co-leading with 2 or 3 other men that he could hire. “Right away I called Jim Collins, as we had led a five-day event for gay men the previous Spring. Also on the top of my list was Michael Clementi, an original member of Playback Theater in New Paltz. I had met Michael and immediately knew he was “the real McCoy.” Michael and Jim had both trained in the same group with Ilana Rubenfeld. I also wanted to get Steve Knothe involved, as he was a dynamic presence, a great teacher, and one of the kindest, most welcoming spirits on the planet. So there we had our leadership group. Then Michael called me back and said that he actually had a partner with whom he shared a psychotherapy practice in NYC and that he would feel more comfortable saying yes to the project if we could include his partner. I had never met the man, but he had a great resume and relevant experience, so Ken Page made the group five who planned and led the First Annual Gay Men’s Weekend.”

Jim left the group after a couple of years. Michael struggled with AIDS and died — a huge loss. After nine years, Don Paul wanted to devote more of his energies to his Hospice Work, his Sounding Groups, and workshops in death, dying, and grief. Joe Fitzgerald joined the leadership, followed by David Schechter.

Each of the directors has been brilliant and generous of spirit and created amazing work together. There have been many other wonderful and effective leaders from the Labor Day community who have given much to the program, too many to list them all. John Salvato played a powerful role in the community’s creation (including Sports For Fairies); Mike Moran developed incredible music for many years; Kevin Bockrath created the Drag Playshop, which became an institution; Rob Bauer and Peter Subers played a major role in leadership: David Chase and Gerard Cortinez created the silent auction and raised thousands of dollars each year for men in need of financial assistance. And we can’t forget Reverend Paul Darlling, J.T., and Wendell Wyatt who contributed so much to the retreat’s development. Brent Jackson created the role of logistics coordinator and many wonderful men followed in his footsteps. The Labor Day program evolved thanks to the dedication of many people.

Of the original leadership team, Ken Page never missed a Labor Day retreat over the last twenty-one years. He continued as co-director with Joe Fitzgerald for five years after Don Paul and David left and then directed for three years on his own after Joe left. A psychotherapist, workshop leader, and more recently, a writer, he also created Deeper Dating, an event for people with committed values such as spirituality, personal growth, and service (Deeperdating.com). Much of his practice is with people in recovery, and most of his clients are strongly committed to their own personal growth and often have a strong sense of spirituality. Ken leads retreats that focus on spirituality, intimacy, and building family and community. One of his mentors is John McNeill, a great pioneer of LGBT spirituality.

A single gay dad, Ken adopted his wonderful son David when he was 8 months old, and the men who come to the retreat have loved watching David grow. Watching Ken blossom into fatherhood has been wonderful, too. Ken says, “Having a kid has been the most joyful experience of my life. For a LGBT person – and everyone else — who longs to have a child, I pass on my strong encouragement.”

After twenty-one years of directing the Labor Day Retreat, Ken is leaving to start his own retreat. In looking back at his time at Rowe, Ken reminisces, “So many men offered so much to us. As a community, we cared for each other and supported each other in the most creative, the most silly, and the most heartfelt ways imaginable. I send my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has helped create this community. This capacity for giving, for caring, and for creating amazing and joyful responses is one of the gifts of Gay/Bi/Trans men. Last year was my last year at Rowe Labor Day; I’ll be leading a retreat elsewhere, but with much love and with more powerful remembrances than I can even count. Rowe Labor Day has been one of the absolutely most powerful institutions in my life. It has shaped me and actually defined me professionally, personally, and absolutely as a gay man. The waterfall of goodness and heart that I’ve witnessed has been life-changing for me and thousands of others. Thank you to Rowe for changing my life, for all the amazing people I’ve met, and for the wonderful work you are doing in the world.”

Ken continues, “Rowe was really a pioneer in committing to create this event. There is a magic to Rowe that has been life changing for so many people. This retreat began in the early years of AIDS, so it came at a time when men desperately needed to find meaning, to connect to our power, to grieve, and to celebrate our existence. I will never forget a therapeutic ritual Don Paul created in one of the earliest years, a rite of grief and empowerment. We all needed to find ways to hold our fear, pain, and emerging power in the world. We are wounded healers. Now, I see the Gay community entering into the larger world as out teachers and healers, knowing our gifts are desperately needed by the world. We need to step into the center of the larger world and claim our part as queer people in the world community.”

We thank Ken for the many years of service he provided, for his commitment and his leadership in nurturing and growing the Labor Day Retreat. We thank all of the men who have served over the years as directors, workshop leaders, staff, and volunteers. Each has brought his own flavor and energy to create an amazing program and community.

We are pleased to announce that the Labor Day Retreat will continue. The torch will be passed to Ben Seaman and Andrew Plummer.

 Back to Rowe Zone Contents | Other Rowe Zone Issues | Home