How many of you readers think it gits pretty hot round these parts in the summer time?
You should be grateful for the genuine blast of cold you get every day in the summa!
Why it’s so hot where I come from our four seasons are named Summer, Simmer, SIZZle and SCORCH!!
Now one morning it was so hot I mean it was so darn sweltering hot that when we sat down to our milking – our cows was givin’ steamed milk!
That there got me an idea — and I feed one of then cows a Hershey bar and I’ll be darned if I didn’t git back a nice bucket full of hot chocolate.
Now I was cooking (so to speak) and I feed some coffee bean to one of our young cows — I’ll be hog tied, if she was giving some nice hot “Calfacino.”
Why it was so hot, by noon our chicken house had turned into a rotisserie! But I’ll be a palm tree in Canada if them roasted chickens weren’t still laying — laying hard boiled eggs!!!
Why it was so hot? I’ll tell ya’ how hot it was and I’m not joking! It was so hot our dog was chasing a cat and they both were walking! (Now that’s what we called a “cat in heat” and one “hot diggity dog!”)
It was so hot there was a line of worms inching their way into the bait shop just so they could get a free trip to the lake.
I’m telling you it was hot. Why it was so hot that we had to cancel town meeting cause even the smartest man in town was spewing hot air. Still we was all friendly like cause no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t give no one a cold shoulder or even cold stare
That right, it was hot. Why it was so hot that our field of corn down in the valley started to pop! “SPONTANIOUS CORNBUSTION!”
And that dang heat roasted all our peanuts growing up top of the hill. Why it heated up so bad that afternoon them peanuts exploded right out of the ground and landed in the popcorn.
Meanwhile on the other side of the hill our field of sugar cane erupted like one of them there volcano thangs! It was quite a sight all that molten sugar lava rolling down the hill into our valley full of popcorn & peanuts...
Ever heard of Cracker Jacks?????
That day we invented it!
Now there is one lie – one tall tale — one whopper I decided not to tell today – why it’s such a big lie when I first heard it swelled up my right ear so big that it hung down below my knee. Stayed like that all summer too – Least I could us it as a fan to cool down with on them hot summer days.
I know you all will be grateful that I’m not gonna’ tell that one now — wouldn’t want your ear to grow big like that. No mam’, no sir!
Would you like to hear our town’s theme song before I go? I knowed’ you would – Sos’ here it goes
“Just this morning
while I was still in bed
The heat burst in
and swirled around my head
I turned to sweet Mary
and this is what I said
There’ll be a hot time
on the old town today”
That Right
“There’ll be a hot time
in the old town today “
With ME
“There’ll be a hot time
in the old town today”
Back to Center Post Contents | Home