Why would women be excited about men’s spirituality? Well, women like men and would probably like them even more if they were more fully into their spiritual potential. After all, women are mothers to boys. They are lovers, spouses, and friends to men. They are sisters, grandmothers, daughters, granddaughters, co-workers, and (sometimes) competitors. Spirituality is about working out of our depths, not our superficial selves—which is one reason the spirituality of men is often hidden. The depths of most things are hidden. It takes some digging. As the great fourteenth century mystic, Meister Eckhart, put it, “the ground of the soul is dark.” Women would be smart to learn more about men’s spirituality, about the depths of the men in their lives?
The awakening of women that society has been undergoing for forty years, the return of the goddess in her many and varied forms, the entrance of women into places of influence and power, has characterized the cultural progress of our time. But now that the goddess is back, isn’t it time that our “gods,” also be welcomed, dusted off, and cleaned up? What are the models and metaphors in which we train our boys to be men and what do they mean for a healthy earth? Or for healthy relationships? Or for reawakening of art and values and community? Or for a more fair economic system, a more participatory political system?
Another reason for women’s probing and pursuing men’s spirituality from closer than the sidelines is that the “sacred marriage” talked about so much in mythology and archetypal psychology is not just about a literal marriage but about the coming together of the feminine and masculine energies of us all. The male/female dialectic is not just about individuals finding their way in the lofty sweepstakes of finding a mate. It is also how we see the world and see the energies, different but complementary, or masculine and feminine interacting, or fighting or surrendering.
The toxic views of masculinity that have prevailed in so many cultures since Patriarchy and Domination replaced Partnership as a cultural norm. (Language from Riane Eisler.) Just as the slavemaster suffered a toxic soul from the system of slavery (though was well rewarded for it and thus often oblivious of the price he was exacting on others as well as himself), so too men during the patriarchal period have paid a great price for being on top 24/7. It is bad for the soul.
Furthermore, if it is true that every woman carries a masculine side in their soul just as every man carries a feminine side to his soul, then women are directly implicated in the struggle to clean up our understanding of the masculine. Women themselves may be carrying around a toxic masculinity in their minds and imaginations. Just because men carry more testosterone does not mean that only men overreact with reptilian brains or an “I vs. You,” “Win/Lose,” “let’s make war” mentality. Women are fully capable of toxic behavior also. To clean up their sense of the healthy masculine is important. It allows their healthy feminine to flourish.
The return of “Father Sky,” a new cosmology, so much a part of the excitement of our time, can awakens heart and soul to look beyond the local to the amazing fourteen billion year journey. The archetype of the “Green Man” is the ideal icon for an age when mother earth is suffering so much. The Green Man archetype and the goddess were consorts the last time a grass roots renaissance occurred in the West, in the twelfth century. Can that happen again?
Fox calls for the return of the “spiritual warrior” (not the same as soldier) wherein both men and women develop the inner strength and courage and willingness to let go in order to stand up for values that matter at this time in history. He also calls for a new sense of “intergenerational wisdom” whereby young men and elders can profit from improved communication and listening to one another. This also carries deep implications for women in their role as mothers to both daughters and sons and as elders themselves and in encouraging the eldership of the men in their lives.
The “hidden spirituality of Men” resonates with women as well as men. We are in this together. Together we rise or we fall, we survive or we thrive, we seed the future generations.
Matthew Fox will be leading a workshop on May 8, 2009. Click for details.
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