Why does love flourish in some relationships, while getting buried in others? What are the secrets of a healthy and fulfilling relationship? In the relationships that make it, each individual is willing to make the relationship a priority, giving it time, energy and nurturing. Each views the relationship as a beloved plant, which thrives with care and attention.

Persons in a prospering relationship are willing to look inside themselves, rather than only to their partner, for their growth and learning. They are willing to see their partner as a mirror - a soul mirror - reflecting back to them qualities that are within themselves, qualities they need to continually reclaim as their own. These partners are willing to trust this mirror of relationship. They are learning to take responsibility for their own lessons and issues, and they have learned that love itself is a reflecting pool. When their outer senses tell them it's "the other person's fault" in a difficult situation, they are willing to search deeper for their own issues that have contributed to the problem. Likewise, when their senses reveal to them the beauty, strength and goodness of their lover, they are willing to search deeper for these same qualities in themselves.

The discovery that your lover is a soul mirror, reflecting back to you everything you are needing to learn about yourself in any given moment, will make the difference between a good relationship and a great relationship. This is acknowledging the mirror.

There is another step in the process. It is seeing the light in the mirror. It is enjoying, rather than merely accepting or tolerating, the mirroring. It is viewing the process of mirroring with awe and reverence. Accepting the soul mirror in your beloved will make for a great relationship. Loving and celebrating the soul mirror will create a sacred relationship, where there is no limit to the love that can be experienced.

Reprinted with permission from Light in the Mirror: A New Way to Understanding Relationships by Barry and Joyce Vissell, Ramira Publishing.