Anger is an emotion, not a plan. Think about this. It doesn't deny the fact that you have angry feelings (rarely, occasionally, frequently, damn often), but the idea suggests that we go beyond the feelings into a more clarifying place. Anger can be a great motivator for change, if you plan for some change to come out of the anger.
Thomas Gordon wrote, "Anger is real. It's an emotion, but it's a secondary emotion. Underneath most anger are some primary emotions (fear, hurt, embarrassment, an old childhood wound, frustration, disappointment). He also said anger is often a "dramatization." Think of people punching in the sheet rock and you get the idea. The drama is learned, and we can become hammy acting it out. The primary emotion aches for some "plan for change."
Anger is full of paradoxes. It can be a great motivator for action and for change, but it can also destroy relationships and make us ill. There are tools for negotiating and dealing with the inevitable anger that comes up in relationships of all kinds, and we'll learn some of these tools. One of the revolutionary things some recent work has revealed is that "venting" anger isn't beneficial in the ways it was once thought to be. It might even be counter-productive.
In a community of searchers, we'll search for understanding as we demystify anger. We'll look at the ideas of Harriet Lerner, Albert Ellis, Robert Alberti, Thomas Gordon, and one of the least known but most brilliant theorists, Marshall Rosenberg. Dr. Simon believes connectedness exists on a continuum with anger. Are we connected to a real network of support; not just in crisis, but in seeking joy and adventure, too? We'll use music, poetry, short lectures, and fiction to approach the issues of both anger and connectedness. There will be lively small group activities and chances for creativity, and we hope you'll join this exploration.
Sidney Simon, Professor Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts, is an internationally recognized authority on values clarification, self-esteem, and parenting. He was instrumental in founding the Values Clarification Movement by developing a theory and practical strategies that have altered counseling practice, child rearing, education, medical care, and social work in this country and abroad. Sid is dynamic, caring, and tender, his experience vast, his heart large. He has written 16 books, including Values Clarification, Getting Unstuck, and Forgiveness, and has appeared on Oprah Winfrey, Phil Donahue, and other shows. He leads workshops worldwide and has led workshops at Rowe for most of the life of the conference center. We are honored to welcome back this distinguished and gentle teacher.
"I challenge you to name five people who know what to do with their anger, or what to do when anger comes at them. Very few people understand what anger is all about."
- Sid Simon